It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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