I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
