The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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