i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
