I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
