Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize