She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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