I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
