idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
