For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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