I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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