i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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