You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
