is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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