like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
