And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
cat food counts as protein by the way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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