what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
