I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
