all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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