don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
