question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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