Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize