Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
