You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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