too bad you live with your parents still
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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