This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
there is puke in my bra ... again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
