we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
