yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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