Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you will always have a special place in my vag
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
