So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
