Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
