your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
