I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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