im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
