I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
