so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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