video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
