I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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