i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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