I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize