I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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