i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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