I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
