Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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