And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
