i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
