so that wasnt chicken after all
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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