You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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