i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
