she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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