I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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