I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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