Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
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We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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