Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
