coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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