That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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