xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
