Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
